Living within the confines created by others and constantly pleasing them may feel comfortable for many. It requires little thought—just follow the plans laid out by others. If you find happiness in your current situation, you are indeed one of the lucky ones. However, there are many who suffer in uncomfortable environments, constantly pressured and constrained by others. Take a moment to reflect on yourself and ask, “Will I really allow myself to live within the limits set by others?” and “When should I finally break free from this box?” Here are some positive thoughts to share with everyone.

::: Coexisting with Others Doesn’t Mean We Are Truly ‘Good Friends’ :::

In our lives, there are many instances where we must coexist with others, whether in a classroom with schoolmates, at university, or in the same office with colleagues. However, just because we share the same space and environment doesn’t mean we are truly ‘friends’ with one another.

In reality, it is quite rare for people who happen to meet or gather to form a group of friends with compatible ‘traits’ and ‘thoughts’.

For example, classmates in school are peers of the same age or educational level who are grouped together in one classroom. Colleagues at work are individuals brought together to generate profit for the company, selected by a manager or HR, not by our own choice.

This kind of society, which we do not choose ourselves, is a constructed environment that allows us to meet both good and bad friends.

::: Fear of Breaking the Rules Because of the Fear of Being Excluded :::

When a group forms by chance, what often follows is an unspoken ‘silent rule’—a rule that is not formally established but is understood by everyone. This means that if someone breaks the rules, even slightly, they may face punishment, be looked down upon, or even be excluded from the group. This rule leads everyone to keep an eye on each other and binds us together.

This phenomenon can occur in any age group, among any crowd, or within any organization. Problems in our workplaces often arise from an atmosphere that makes it difficult to resist, and we must acknowledge that these silent rules are a norm that everyone must accept and follow, sometimes leading to an unhappy work environment.

So how should we address these situations? Click to read solutions on the next page.

::: Cut Out Unnecessary People from Our Lives :::

One crucial aspect of ‘choosing friends’ is that the person must live a life similar to ours. If we choose the wrong friends, our lives may become difficult.

People come in various types; not everyone is good and compatible with us. There may be only a few who are kind, friendly, and willing to help us move towards a better path. We need to discern who is worth befriending and who should be avoided, being cautious when around them.

Examples of People to Be Cautious Around:

  • Liars
  • Deceivers
  • Those who don’t keep promises
  • People who only do what they want
  • Jealous individuals
  • Those who constantly undermine us

Being friendly towards these individuals will only drain us and is unnecessary.

How to Cut Out Unnecessary People from Our Lives:

When we encounter someone who makes us unhappy or someone we feel we don’t want to associate with, we should create distance or avoid meeting them. Be cautious in conversations and don’t leave openings for them to harm or take advantage of us.

::: Dare to Move to Places That Suit Us :::

When we were younger and less self-sufficient, we often had limited choices in our lives and relied on adults and those around us for guidance. As we grow older and gain more freedom in our lives, we have the ability to choose what truly suits us. We should seize the opportunity to be in environments that are genuinely right for us.

...As adults, we can choose to stay or change jobs to fit ourselves. This is a privilege of adulthood that we must learn to use wisely. If we are unhappy with the people we associate with or the places we inhabit, we can find new ones...

If we are constantly afraid that changing jobs will lead to a lower salary, or that moving will incur additional expenses, or that leaving a friend group will result in being bullied, it indicates we are avoiding making decisions and convincing ourselves that enduring this situation is comfortable enough or thinking, “Just endure a little longer; it will get better.”

This mindset may lead us to feel trapped in our current social environment or unsure how long we can pretend to be happy. Eventually, when we can no longer tolerate it, we will have to move to a new place anyway.

We only live once; dedicating our lives to others is a waste of life and a betrayal of our parents who raised us well, hoping we would live happily.

Even if the salary is lower, choosing a job that makes us eager to wake up on Monday morning is far more valuable.

Is it time for us to ‘dare’ to live the life that truly belongs to us?

Thank you for the valuable information from the book “Stop Being Good and You Will Be Happy” – Amarin How-to

SOURCE: www.goodlifeupdate.com