The term family in the eyes of many likely includes the components of father, mother, and child, right? If any one of these is missing, it might imply an incomplete or less-than-ideal family.

However, in practice, it doesn't have to be that way! A family can consist of just a father and child or a mother and child, and still provide care and create a good family environment through various elements such as love, attention, and parenting styles. This means that a family that isn't always together can still be the dream family for many.

We must acknowledge that currently, the issues of divorce and separation in Thai society are becoming increasingly common for various reasons that we won't delve into in this article. Ultimately, it depends on the decisions made by each family. Of course, after a separation, single fathers and single mothers emerge.

Today, we will focus on single mothers, a gender that comes with the marvel of nurturing another life to grow in amazing ways. Although being a single mother may not be the dream or goal for most women, many are willing to take on this role wholeheartedly because what matters most to them is the little one they have brought into the world.

Single Mothers in Thai Society

If you look around, you will likely encounter single mothers, making them a familiar sight. Most of them perform their roles well, often bringing smiles to those who see them. Studies show that there are two types of single mothers in Thai society.

1. Unplanned Pregnancy Without a Father (No Father from the Start)

This type of single mother may have become accustomed to raising a child alone from the very beginning, having to take care of herself from pregnancy to childbirth. The exhaustion is undoubtedly immense, but she is fortunate to have family members, such as grandparents, aunts, or uncles, to support and encourage her.

Being a single mother who has cared for her child alone from the start fosters a deep love and bond with her child. This is what drives and shapes her into a strong mother, living to witness her child's growth. Importantly, she is lucky to fulfill both the roles of father and mother from birth, so her child hardly feels a sense of loss or emotional scars.

2. Loss of the Family Head or Divorce (Had a Father Before, Then Separated or Father Passed Away)

For single mothers in this situation, it is undoubtedly a significant challenge at first, as both mother and child may feel lost and without support, acutely aware of the absence. The first thing a single mother must do is accept the reality and move forward in caring for her child. She may be fortunate if her child is old enough to understand, as a little explanation can help strengthen the child.

However, it can be very difficult if you have to take on the role of a single mother while your child is still young. You may not have had time to prepare yourself, but there isn't much time to grieve. Therefore, mothers must quickly regain their strength and fulfill both parental roles simultaneously, providing love and care so that the child does not feel a lack of warmth. One day, you will become a single mother who can easily handle all of life's challenges.

Challenges Faced by Single Mothers

Financial burdens are another significant concern that makes many mothers hesitant in deciding to live as single mothers. Being a single mother means you have to manage all expenses yourself, whether it's for milk, supplies, medicine, or, as the child grows, tuition fees and many other future expenses, all of which can strain your financial situation.

Basic Expenses for Single Mothers

To reduce the likelihood of encountering financial problems, the first step is to understand and manage the four different categories of expenses. These are unavoidable costs that you must support your child with as a mother.

1. Fixed Expenses

Starting with fixed expenses, such as rent, mortgage payments, car payments, insurance premiums, and phone bills. These expenses are necessary and cannot be avoided, so you should set aside money for them first to prevent future issues.

2. Daily Expenses

Of course, every day you will incur various expenses for daily living, such as food, milk for the child, transportation, and miscellaneous supplies for the child, as well as utility bills. Monthly, these expenses can vary, but you should aim to keep them from becoming too high or at least maintain them at a stable rate.

3. Savings

Having savings is crucial for single mothers to build a solid foundation for the future. There are various ways to save, whether through bank accounts, stock investments, life insurance, or purchasing bonds. You will need to access this money in the future, possibly for your child's education or as an inheritance you wish to leave for them.

4. Other Expenses

Other expenses may include costs for movies, social outings, clothing, or dining at expensive restaurants. In simple terms, this is money for luxuries or, to put it nicely, rewards for yourself. If you can cut these expenses, it will greatly benefit both you and your child. However, don't be so frugal that you and your child miss out on happiness; it's best to find a balance.

When you see this list of expenses, the next thing you need to do is, if you already have a regular job, look for additional income, whether through side jobs or other money-making avenues, while also cutting unnecessary expenses. As your child grows, it may tire you out, but rest assured that witnessing your child grow and develop will make you a happy single mother.

How to Be a Great Single Mother

Although being a single mother is not easy, some women still choose to embrace this role. First and foremost, you need to be prepared in every aspect and confident that you can raise your child as well as any mother can. Here are six simple ways to help you become the best single mother.

1. Look to the Future

Becoming a single mother is something that cannot be undone. Therefore, the first thing you need to do is stop dwelling on the past that makes you feel bad and focus on making the future the best it can be for your growing child. Watch your child's development step by step, from sitting up, crawling, standing, walking, to clearly calling your name. It will be an incredibly rewarding experience.

2. Know Your Weaknesses

No one can be strong in every aspect; everyone has their weaknesses. If you can accept your weaknesses and seek help from others instead of blaming yourself for not being able to do everything, it will lead to greater happiness. You will become a stronger single mother than anyone else.

3. Share Positive Stories with Your Child

Regardless of the reasons behind your single motherhood or how much it may have hurt you, the story is not about your child. Avoid sharing negative or sad stories that could leave emotional scars. Instead, focus on sharing positive experiences to bring joy to your child.

4. Keep an Open Mind

When your family consists only of you and your child, open communication is essential. It will help create a positive environment for raising your child, allowing them to feel comfortable expressing their needs and desires, and you will understand them better.

5. If Possible, Let Your Child Meet Their Father

While your separation from your child's father may be painful, if possible, you should allow your child to see him. Avoid speaking ill of him in front of your child, as he may ultimately be a source of support for your child if something happens to you.

6. Make Time for Yourself

You should set aside time for yourself to reflect on your life, think about your child and yourself, and importantly, forget about the negative experiences from those around you. This will help you become the strongest single mother and a woman who fulfills her role as a mother perfectly.

Because 'Motherhood' is a Marvel

Mother is a short word, but its meaning is hard to fully express. Many might think that being a mother is easy—just give birth to a child, and you become a mother. In reality, the author has never experienced motherhood firsthand. Writing about single mothers relies on observation and analysis of the surrounding society.

If I were to define the meaning of mother from my perspective, I would describe it as one of the wonders of the world. A mother is everything: a cook, a homemaker, a role model, a mold, a saint. No matter how difficult it gets, a mother will do everything to ensure her child is happy. Whenever her child cries, believe me, a mother feels a hundred times more heartbroken.

The fact that a woman is willing to carry a child for nine months, endure morning sickness, hunger, back pain, and the changes in her body, especially as a single mother, is no easy feat. Therefore, just the fact that a mother gives us the opportunity to see the world, to live, and to experience our own lives is the highest grace we can never fully repay.

On this National Mother's Day, August 12th, many children are likely waiting to express their love for their mothers, while many others may hesitate to do so. We want to remind all children: “Don’t be shy to tell your mother you love her while she is still alive; otherwise, you may find yourself crying to express your love when she is no longer with you.”

Happy Mother's Day!

SOURCE: rabbitfinance.com