Have you ever encountered someone who is "older" but "not respectable"? Some people harshly refer to such individuals as "old fools" or say, "old because they eat rice, aged because they have lived long." To visualize this easily, think of the "aunties and uncles" in society. While it is true that we should not label anyone in such a manner, no one dares to argue that conversing with these types of people can be quite frustrating. Personally, there isn't much we can do, as it might turn us into one of them.

This phenomenon can be explained without words, as the "maturity" of a person does not always correlate with age. There are many individuals in society who are older but possess low or almost no maturity. Their responses to others often exhibit "fallacious logic," which tends to make those engaged in conversation roll their eyes. Not only do these individuals struggle to communicate coherently, but they also refuse to listen, argue incessantly, and often speak loudly to shock others.

What Does Low Maturity Look Like?

Maturity, or in modern terms, emotional intelligence (EQ), is crucial in our lives because we need to socialize and coexist with others. Therefore, maturity is considered a skill that helps us interact with others in society.

Individuals with low maturity tend to have a consistently negative mindset, struggle to think creatively, and lack direction in life. They live without clear principles or reasoning to support their actions, making it difficult for them to coexist with others in society.

We may notice some team members or colleagues who act in a way that is "self-indulgent and indifferent to the opinions of those around them." In reality, some may not even realize they are displaying such behavior, as these actions are driven by their "subconscious mind." This is one reason why many older individuals feel they are always right, even when the rest of the world disagrees.

Another behavior often observed in those with low maturity is the expression of thoughts through "fallacious logic," which frustrates those around them. In discussions where opinions differ, there is no way (and never will be) to win an argument against such individuals, even with logical reasoning. They do not even open their minds to listen and are always ready to counter-argue. If we do not conclude the conversation, it often leads to prolonged disputes.

Fallacious Logic Associated with Low Maturity

Fallacious logic refers to attempts to reason, but the reasoning provided is not genuine. When analyzed, it lacks substantial support. Most of the time, these statements sound nice and appear quotable, but when examined through the lens of cause and effect, they are weightless and hollow.

Due to their tendency to act on impulse without considering how others in society behave, often referred to as "when in Rome, do as the Romans do," these individuals frequently express themselves contrary to others, obstructing the world around them. They often find themselves unable to control their emotions, thoughts, or actions when things do not go their way.

However, most individuals displaying fallacious logic do not realize that their thoughts and actions are wrong. They see themselves as the center of the universe, believing they are always right. Their arguments often stem from self-created justifications. Warning signs that you are dealing with someone exhibiting fallacious logic and low maturity include:

  • Frequently citing the majority, claiming, "Everyone does it, so I’m not wrong for doing it too."
  • Attacking others personally rather than discussing the issue at hand.
  • Saying, "Don’t teach me if you can’t do it yourself."
  • Going back to the beginning, re-evaluating, and changing their mind at any time.
  • Believing there are only two choices in the world, but their choice is always right.

Development and Maturity

According to the theory of Chris Argyris, which discusses human development, individuals lacking maturity also lack growth in personality and thought, causing them to remain stuck in a "childlike" state despite not being young anymore.

This theory posits that individuals with high maturity, coupled with positive thinking, are the best human resources for organizations. When it comes to job interviews, they are more likely to be selected. In contrast, those who exhibit high ego, do not listen to others, argue, interrupt, or shout are categorized as individuals who cannot control their emotions, thoughts, and actions. Thus, their ability to coexist with others is low, making teamwork challenging.

Therefore, if one wishes to develop their maturity, it is essential to do so consistently on their own, as "maturity" does not depend on "age." Whether you are young or old, if you lack maturity, you are akin to someone who is "stunted in development."

Dealing with Them is the Key to Survival

Such individuals are prevalent in society, and we know that we cannot avoid them forever. Even if we try to stay out of their way, there may still be situations where we need to rely on each other. These individuals can be increasingly frustrating to talk to, and the more we engage, the more heated the conversation becomes. The key to dealing with such people is to "not take it personally." It is very difficult for them to realize they are wrong, so we must control ourselves, communicate only when necessary, avoid arguing, remain as calm as possible, communicate clearly, and not hold grudges.

Another thing we must strive for is to maintain awareness, practice patience, and constantly remind ourselves that "before engaging with someone of low maturity, we must maintain our own level of maturity and control ourselves first."

SOURCE: tonkit360