In today's rapidly changing world, various situations have a significant psychological impact on our lives as we adapt to the New Normal. This means that behaviors we used to engage in regularly, such as not wearing masks, rarely washing hands after touching objects, frequently visiting shopping malls, watching movies in theaters every week, and partying with friends every Friday night, must change to align with the evolving global circumstances.

Currently, we are facing the COVID-19 pandemic, which has introduced a New Normal where everyone must maintain at least a 2-meter distance, wear masks whenever leaving home, carry hand sanitizer, spend most of their time indoors, and adapt to many unfamiliar practices. Even as adults, we find life challenging; it must be equally difficult for children. Moreover, their future will likely involve even more changes that will create new norms. Therefore, with concern from all of us at iSTRONG, I would like to introduce ways to teach children to adapt to the New Normal and unexpected situations using the principles of REBT. REBT stands for Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, a psychological theory developed by Albert Ellis that focuses on rational thought, emotions, and behavior.

The principle of REBT is to change behaviors and emotions in response to a situation by altering an individual's thoughts and beliefs. For example, Ms. A believes that she can become wealthy only by winning the lottery. Consequently, she becomes obsessed with interpreting numbers, focusing on everything around her, including dreams, lizards, and the words of children. This behavior leads Ms. A to neglect other work and solely seek numbers to buy lottery tickets, hoping for wealth every 1st and 16th of the month. Unsurprisingly, she has yet to become rich.

When we analyze Ms. A's problematic behavior using REBT, we find the following:

B – Behavior (problematic behavior) = Neglecting work and obsessively searching for lottery numbers.

E – Emotive (emotions in response to beliefs or behaviors) = Experiencing great happiness and enthusiasm in searching for numbers.

R – Rational (beliefs that lead to problematic emotions and behaviors) = Believing that wealth comes from winning the lottery.

To address Ms. A's problematic behavior, we must tackle it in order: R, E, and B. The solution involves challenging Ms. A's belief (R) by having her record the money spent on lottery tickets and compare it to the winnings over six months. When Ms. A sees the concrete numbers (having never won), she will feel sad/angry and discouraged about the hope of becoming rich through the lottery (E). Consequently, Ms. A will stop buying lottery tickets and obsessing over number searches, focusing instead on her actual work (B).

From Ms. A's case, you can see that "changing thoughts changes life," or what is formally referred to as a "Paradigm Shift." This is highly beneficial for living in the New Normal because if we can apply the REBT psychological theory to adapt to changing situations, we can maintain our mental health and live happily in this new way. Here are five methods to apply REBT principles when teaching children:

1. Encourage children to learn to challenge their beliefs (develop R).

In teaching children to challenge beliefs, you can use psychological principles, such as demonstrating examples or providing clear case studies (Role Models). You can also employ scientific skills like observation or religious principles, such as the Kalama Sutta, which outlines ten principles of belief, to help challenge beliefs.

2. Encourage children to be rational (develop R).

One method psychologists recommend for fostering reasoning is planning, as it helps children think systematically. This means that outcomes stem from causes. If children can think systematically, they can connect causes and effects. Planning can be practiced through activities requiring planning skills, such as puzzles or building blocks, allowing children to practice organizing actions and seeing the bigger picture.

3. Teach mindfulness (develop R).

A crucial tool to help our beloved children cope with change is "mindfulness." Mindfulness leads to wisdom. Psychologists recommend practicing mindfulness by being present, observing oneself, and recognizing what one is doing, feeling, and thinking. A popular method for teaching mindfulness to children is through breath awareness and meditation.

4. Teach children to recognize their emotions (develop E).

To help children understand their emotions, psychologists suggest starting with familiarizing them with different emotions. There are many tools available, such as storybooks, picture books, puppets, and various teaching materials that can assist parents and guardians in teaching children about emotions. Once children recognize their emotions, we can practice emotional regulation through breath control, learning to relax, or expressing feelings in various ways.

5. Teach children to observe their behaviors (develop B).

Training children to observe their behaviors is one of the easiest practices among the five methods suggested. Our behaviors are visible and tangible, and this practice is crucial since most life problems stem from our behaviors. A simple way to practice is to have children share their notable or frequent behaviors with us daily or keep a diary. We can then engage in a Q&A session with them about how those behaviors affect themselves and others. If the behaviors are positive, we can reinforce them with sincere praise. If the behaviors are negative, we can point out the adverse effects and gradually adjust them. This method not only helps with behavior modification but also fosters empathy in children.

Recommended article: "Strengthening Your Child with EFs During the Long School Break"

Living in a constantly changing world is challenging. However, as long as we are alive, we must adapt. As parents or guardians, our essential role is to train children to cope with various changes. I hope these five methods for teaching children to adapt to the New Normal and unexpected situations using REBT principles will be beneficial for you and your beloved children.

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Author's Biography: Chanthama Changsalak, a graduate with a second-class honors degree in Clinical Psychology from Chiang Mai University and a Master's degree in Social Development from NIDA, has four years of experience in child psychology and one year as a research assistant in psychology. Currently, she is a practicing social worker applying psychological knowledge in her work for over five years.

SOURCE: www.istrong.co