Let's enhance our happiness in life by adjusting our mindset and reducing the tendency to blame others. The song "Victims of the Circumstance" by my favorite artist, Barclay James Harvest, has a clear lyric that states, "Those mistakes that you all made in the past, you never seem to see." This line addresses the mistakes of the past.

Typically, people often fail to see their own mistakes and tend to blame various factors, sometimes claiming that it is due to "circumstances" forcing them to act in a certain way. This convenient excuse allows us to evade responsibility. When problems arise in an organization, employees often tell themselves that there is not much they can do and blame the system, their bosses, subordinates, or colleagues, without reflecting on the possibility that the issue might lie within themselves.

A book titled The Way of Aikido by George Leonard made me reflect on the concept of "victims of circumstance." On page 36, it discusses a large prison in New Jersey where a group of inmates watched the same video showing people walking in various public places in New York City. They were then asked, "If you were still a robber, who would you want to rob from this video?"

The results were quite interesting.

Firstly, the inmates tended to choose similar individuals from the video, notably a woman in a red outfit.

Secondly, the people chosen by these inmates did not appear weak or small; rather, it was due to their "walking style."

The author of this book observed that a person's walking posture is related to being chosen as a "victim" by robbers. Walking without a center and lacking grounding—being aware of every moment of walking or how our feet touch the ground—means not being distracted by phones or having our minds elsewhere, making us easy targets for criminals. In these situations, we have the choice not to become victims.

John Conger, a somatic psychologist, states that living in this world without grounding is very dangerous. Not knowing this, one might think that being robbed is simply bad luck, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, thus becoming a "victim of circumstance."

This research shows that being robbed is not about being a "victim of circumstance" but rather about not knowing how to walk properly in public. Similarly, with other issues, our automatic behaviors are often the root cause of problems. Therefore, we should examine how we truly are rather than constantly blaming others or our misfortunes.

Scientists, philosophers, and thinkers summarize this simply: "We tend to become what we think," but the problem is, "we often do not realize what we are thinking."

Becoming aware of our thoughts is not easy because our thoughts are numerous and occur too rapidly, akin to a high-speed train that passes by before we even notice.

A simpler method is to "become aware of our bodies."

If we can set a new rule for ourselves that from now on, every time we walk, we will "walk with awareness" and not automatically, our walking will transform from mere movement into a conscious effort to be aware of different parts of our body. As we continue to develop this awareness, we will not only "ground" or become aware of our feet but can expand our awareness further. Gradually, we can use this awareness to adjust our thoughts, meaning instead of believing we are victims and complaining that "bad things always happen to me," we can rethink and say, "There are always people helping us."

I believe that "things will gradually improve on their own."

Dr. Witan Thanawut is an independent surgeon, writer, and speaker on mental health and spirituality. His latest work is titled Service Is Meditation.

Information from the MIND UPDATE column in the Chiwajit magazine, issue 447.

SOURCE: www.goodlifeupdate.com